Hello Everyone,

Today is a beautiful day outside.  I'm stuck in my office working on resident accounts.  In a recent months, I have had the opportunity to discover the relationship of two fictional characters.  It has allowed me to figure out where I stand in life.

Last night, I told my mother that I was failing Stats.  "It is the worse thing besides Oscar Mayer bologna and cheese sandwiches,"  I told her. 

To be continued....

I'm back.  Sorry I had to cut off the post.  My job keeps me busy so trying to work and do school work can be trying sometimes.   I just got home from the office and decided that I would like finish my entry so that I can turn it in.  I'm extremely exhausted from a long day.  It might have something to do with the fact that I haven't eaten anything today. 

I'm a bit sad at the moment.  My partner is a big pain in my side.  It's almost like he forgets I exists but then when he is with me, I get all the "I love Yous" and you are "the best" from him.   This past week, he had dinner with a friend and I asked him to get me something.  "Oh I figured you would have eaten and I didnt hear you."  I always make sure that I ask if he wants anything when I go somewhere. I just dont feel heard.  Its something I had a talk with him this past Sunday night, and still, no change.  I just dont know what I can do.

This is another example of where I wish I could avoid my emotions.  It would be better for me to do so that I dont get hurt.  My mother has always been a great source of encouragement and always filled with advice.  Good advice is hard to come by.

Gene Roddenberry did a great job of creating a strong relationship between Spock and his mother.  It was a easy relationship to build within a few minutes of each story line.  I guess everyone can relate to a parent who they are close with. 

I'm being summoned for dinner.  I hope that you guys enjoyed reading my thoughts.  I plan to expand on this blog with more comparisons to my brother Spock.

Live Long and Prosper
M

Live Long and Prosper

A Stressful Two Weeks

Hello Everyone,

I'm sitting here at my desk.  I've had a horrible last two weeks.  It is amazing how one person's absence can make a huge difference in my life.  Stephanie's death has changed how I feel about life.  I guess it makes me aware how valueable each person is and how important it is to ensure that they know how you feel about them. 

Recently in discovering more about my relationship, I have become more vulnerable to my feelings.  I try to keep them suppressed but that has been difficult.  I have found myself a bit more angered at the world since Stephanie's death.  I wish she would have known that she has family who would have helped her through her stuff. 

I'm not an expert in psychology, however, I am 35 years old and have lived a long life to where I could have given her some advice to help her.  My feelings are surfacing at work.  I have been more angered with my boss, who is inefficient and unfocused.  My boss is facing her own demons but has allowed it to affect our team and her work.  I have been given most, if not, all of the responsiblities that she normally handles.  She asked me the other day if I felt she disrespected me.  My response was yes, and I felt undervalued.  I guess my boss' own fears are affecting me as well.

I've been reading everyone's blogs and I'm quiet impressed with them.  I love the honesty behind them all and hope to continue reading them.  I plan to take my blog a bit further than this class assignment.  I plan to use this as a vehicle to help get my book, "I think I've had enough." started.  I need a place where I can jot down my thoughts about life.  My life has been difficult in the last 10 years.  I have struggled, been abused by my partners, but I have found my way through.  Their mistakes are my strength.  I'm stronger and smarter now.  One of the biggest lessons I learned from all of them is to focus on me.  I'm back at UT to finish up my degree in Public Relations. 

One of the things I have discovered is that I know I'm made for something special.  I don't know what it is yet but the fog seems to be getting clearer as I move through my courses.  Lately, I've been feeling like animal adovacy is going to be the place where I focus my passion.  I've decided to create a facebook page for animal rights and adovacy. 

Spock: My idol in life

Tragedy in the Family.

I'm sitting here, once again, at my desk in my lovely office.  I'm a property manager up in NW Austin.  I have been working at this apartment community for 3.5 years now.

Recently, my family suffered a tragedy.  This past Monday, my cousin took her own life.  We will never understand the dynamics of what someone is thinking or feeling.  No one can understand feelings and I try to suppress mine.  Most times, I wish I didn't have them.  My cousin was 19, a bright soul and a lesbian.  She wasn't a troubled kid.  I was recently told that her parents and grand parents (whom she lived with) where not accepting of her.  They would harass her about her lifestyle.

I received a phone call from my mother yesterday.  She wanted to ensure that if I ever felt the need to talk, or felt lonely to call her immediately.  I felt honored.  In the past, my mother was very anti-gay.  I use to be afraid to tell her about me.  Now, she is at my side.  She explained that my father had said something about homosexuality yesterday and my mother gave him a "come to Jesus" talking too.  I'm sure it didn't change his mind, however, it did give her more courage to say it's all ok.  I did tell her that I'm the type of man that doesn't care what others think about me.  I don't care if my father approves of who I am or not.  This is me and it has taken a very long time for me to get to where I am at in my life.  I'm very happy.  

My mother is a grand lady who has suffered a lot of tragedy but has come out a shining star.  I have never been more proud of my mother until yesterday.  She is my "mother in shining armor" and has proven that no matter what, I am her kid.  I was raised to be a strong man, full of ambition and courage.  Just like Spock, I have my mother to help me through life and be proud of me.

Star Trek Logo

  

Wow.  Today is March 7, 2012.  Tomorrow, I celebrate my 35th birthday on this planet.  I've been wanting to type this blog all day.  I saw Dave's email come through on my phone, however, our office internet has been down most of the day.  The lack of internet, has made for a very interesting day since most of my job is done online.  I'm an apartment manager in NW Austin and handle resident billing.

As for The Chronicles of Spock, since my birthday is tomorrow, I think it is almost too perfect to do my first blog based on Star Trek.  I've been in-love with Star Trek since I was born.  I remember the first time I watched it (and remembered), I was around 8 years old and it was showing on WGN at 5:00 am.  My family and I were leaving for San Antonio for my father's doctors appointment.  I got to watch the entire show before we left.  Immediately, I connected with Spock and his sense of "logic".

In the latest movie, Star Trek, we are introduced to how the crew of the Enterprise came together, witha  new twist.  We do get to see the past history of Spock unfold.  In it, He discovers how his emotions are something more intense for him and much more foreign than other Vulcans.  He does have a strong connection with his human mother, Amanda.  He looks to her for guidance and seeks her approval on his choice to enter the Vulcan Science Academy.  What made me feel even more connected, now as an adult, with him are our mothers.  She responds that she is his mother and she is proud of him and what ever he chooses.  I wish I could remember the quote exactly.  I'll get it when I get home.  I can relate.  I'm very close to my mother and am always seeking her approval.  I remember when I called her in the summer of July 2010 to tell her I was going back to school and hoped she was proud of me.  My mother said, "Of course, you always make me proud."  I cried that night.  I always held on to the fact that I was a let down to my family because I am Gay.  The oldest of two boys in the family, I am the gay one.  So when she told me that she was always proud of me, I knew that I was still loved.  It's kind of funny, that my little brother thinks I'm the favorite one despite my "disadvantages."

In the movie, Spock is accepted to the Science Academy, and is told that the Elders are surprised that he did so well despite his "disadvantages."  He asks what they were referring to, and the response, "your human mother."  It made me smile when Spock looks at them, and his father and declines the invitation to join the academy.

Despite our disadvantages, our mothers are proud.  Even though he is a character in a sci-fi show, he and I are twins!

Live Long and Prosper...Hook'em!

Amanda & Spock

The Chronicles of Spock--

Welcome to my first blog.  The Chronicles of Spock is about Captain Spock from Star Trek.   I hope that You'll enjoy reading about how I share a similar path to Spock.

Captain Spock